The story of my fibroids...

This took place a while back but the memories and story is worth telling.....

should be played with music while reading, but you have the option

music/Jackie Deshannon - Put A Little Love In Your Heart.mp3

bleeding heavy with clots I call "Sharks"...red as red can be...constant period for 10 days then stop then again...puts a hold on sex on my part and I have a high sex drive....so what to do with it but create more of a web site...I think this is called re-direct?...summer, my favorite time of the year...I am to spend it in New York city...hold...hemorrhaged one night I woke up and my shirt, pants, leg, sock was wet...turned on the light, it was blood...I am alone here...my thoughts, was I killed and now I am seeing something of myself?...My soul mate will know what to do...change clothes, pain in head, dizzy, My thought...did someone kill me?"....get in car, drive up the street, go upstairs, knees give out,,,,for the 1st time I see black stars, heart racing, reach for phone, call 911....sounds like a movie.

and now to the present day...2 of my friends and 3 colleagues also have this problem but in different ways,....we are in New York...is it the water, chicken, candy???what????....the problem is fibroids that push against my uterus, and causing blood to pour....I though I could make them go away....I got more into body building, eating a special diet, which helped I believe with the flow....but somehow these "Aliens" inside me decided that they had enough!.....now got to have them out....I have 3 one the size of a grapefruit...to shrink, I am now on a $400 shot (4th one) of Lupron...soposed to shrink, and stop period...I have had my period for 3 months straight....I can't stand this...I want to rip out these "Mu-ther Fuc-kers" (said with lots of spittle- & Brooklyn accent- learned how to say this correctly from a dear friend from New York)

because these are a part of me...they have grown to be aliens from space with no face..only growth...so there I am with immaculate conception of alien space kids inside of me growing with nuclear power...(ever see the movie Alien?)

with the Lupron, these aliens feel like metorites shooting through my abdomen with the sensation of twisting...well, are they playing twister? Hey, remember that game? 

but my surgery is at the end of the 3rd month...

I have already designed my walls in the recovery room..I want my metro cards and a map of Manhattan, at least one glow in the dark item...cardboard...jazz (smooth) and an AM radio-for the talk shows I listen to and fall asleep by-something about a mans voice that puts me to sleep...If you know my home, then you will understand...

for those that would like to view the surgery, I may put up a surgery cam on my site...I certainly doNOT want to see this but others might...also I am devising ways  to bend humor with these "Alien growths!" ...how about a game of pin the fibroids on the uterus, or maybe even a virtual game of supply the estergen to the Queen of Arts system so that she may not be "On Fire" 3 times per hour...Honestly, I can't sleep and did you ever see how people can self-combust?  I get so hot that I can feel my blood boil and my eyes heat up...just imagine that!  I have an artistic visual imagination and I cannot really know what is going on, because due to my art training, I visualize a surreal (something like Salvador Dali) happening...I had to one time tell the doctor to not tell me what she was doing when I went for a cancer of the uterus test...numb I was not, and with the ongoing description, I visualized the probe going into my belly button with a huge light. In reality, didn't even go near where I thought and there was no light...so you see what I mean by "Creative Visualization?"...It's best not to inform me...for me not knowing is bliss!!!!!

I always wanted to live in New York City...I love it. and I am home when I am here...I often wondered if in another life, I was there before.

My will is taken care of and the people I love will be taken care of also.

I used to also go to the West Side & admire the beauty of the New Jersey Skyline..but now its gated in with memorials everywhere.........................

what depresses me the most, is that I am in good shape, bodybuiding & I was tone and in some places cut...I had muscle...please note that I donot look like anyone from Flex Magazine!...from not going to the gym, I have lost it. and cannot eat what I used to have . I have to  have burgers and red meat and take iron pills that make me sick to my stomach...With this condition of the "Aliens from space," if I even cut the lawn I bleed more than I should, going to the gym and just walking I bleed...I need to take stock, (well, too late now..) in the Kotex pad company...I miss wearing boxers and G-strings & having sex in the many positions I used do...No I am not ashamed to say that, even growing up in a catholic school and church....I don't like the visual aspects of me now. So I recently were back to the gym to hire my trainer in January/Feb to get me back in shape...My hormones are really unbalanced...I cry if see anything normal or go into the laughs...yes, this Lupron helps to put you through menopause...I can't watch anything sad on t.v. or the movies, I will maybe not stop crying...but the devastation with the world trade center...I remember many times I was there & listened to jazz concerts & admired the buildings & met so many people... positive parts of it & my way of dealing with the issues is to rebuild it...I love New York.

anyway, I can't cry hard enough   (click)

thank you all for listening and being a part of my life...

love you all.....

Wings of Love

 love you all & thank you for coming into my life........

send me email...worldarts2001@yahoo.com

And now an addition.Fibroids from hell are OUT! (Click)